my mask

keeps falling off
i tie it down
the perfect knot
and another, just in case
but it resists
tells me it is tired
of pretending
performing in spaces
years of hard labour

my mask
calls me selfish
ungrateful, wanting more and more
unlimited performances
so i cajole,
i need you one last time
stay put
our salvation is near

as i walk into hell
with no fire
instead ice everywhere
slippery
under my feet
the floor
covered with eels
slithering
in a circle
in a line
towards each other
towards me

my mask slips
onto the floor
shatters
there goes the illusion
of who i am
my many identities
weaved with precision
over two decades
forged with anger and hate
where is my armour?

as i walk into hell
with no fire
and no mask
my face exposed
the eels take no notice
their maskless faces
what is the need for mine?

i don’t know if i am among
friends or foe
hell or home