you and i

sit next to each other

sharing pleasanteries

complaining about the humdrum of daily life

contemplating about our existence

delving into the chaos of our minds

most often

i can pretend that

your world is

the same

as my world

but nowadays

i cant

i wont

i am less patient

i snap at you

the grass isn’t just greener

at your end

where i come from

there is no grass

let that sink in

let it

sink

you and i

share jokes

music

our failures

but you don’t

understand my

passion

you see it as

undue anger

as dissatisfaction

at my relationships

do something fun

you say

don’t be so serious

you laugh

we are all going to die

i know that

more than anyone

how do i explain

guilt brims

pouring out of me

i survived

i am here

sitting next to you

while there are others

like me

life isn’t fair

for them

i see the

disparity

and i can’t

swallow your advice

‘don’t be serious’

you and i

are no more

i fought for a seat

at your table

i thought maybe

it will be easier

to show you things

if i sat next to you

while we share

pleasanteries

but i realise

i have to go higher

alone

without any complains

without any pretense

you

were once a

teacher

a friend

a bus stop conversation

a mentor

family

but i am

tired

of having a you

that is so dissimilar

to me

i want to sit next

to a you

that is like me

after years

i know

i just

want a

me