want to
let go of my morals
get a little drunk
quit
read fifty shades of grey
binge watch netflix
sleep in until the sun sets
forget about saving the world
or asking the hard questions
Today, I
don’t want to
uncurl
leave my couch
feed myself
watch what I say
mindful of everything
and everyone
entertain
reply to my texts
smile
initiate an
apology, a friendship
Today, I
feel
broken and
tired
too many thoughts hurtling
from the past
fearful of their
trajectory into future
unsure
how do I fix myself?
Today, I
am
absent
ordinary
selfish
barely breathing
in limbo
cursing my existence
yet knowing
tomorrow, I
won’t be who
I want
don’t want
feel
am
today.
To live or to exist 