As end of year approaches, everyone gets crazier than their norm. People get tired, some very tired and others completely burnt out. It is understandable. It is like when you need to pee, and you hold it in like a champ…until the toilet is in sight. Then the weight of your bladder becomes hard to carry. You want to let go. Sometimes you do. And that’s okay too.
When the end of any year is in sight, we want it to end before it actually ends but time doesn’t go any faster unless you are on holiday. So we do crazy things. Or say crazy things. Or both at the same time. Me? I have always done crazy things. From the beginning of the year until the very end. Time has no meaning for me. My crazy is here to stay. It can be boring to stay this crazy throughout the year. I let out my demons all the time. Everywhere. Scattered around. Sometimes in the vicinity of my home, or closet or under a pile of dirty laundry. See, I don’t wait until the very end to empty my bladder – unless of course I am stuck in traffic and can’t get to a toilet immediately.
Except. There is always an exception. Maybe this year was a little too hard. And I waited until the very end. I decided to run with the pack. Disgruntled faces. Sad eyes. Stroppy shoulders. Negative disclosures. Crackled energy. I lost myself with the crowd. So, I did what every sensible person would do: I sent out a search party to look for me.
I waited…
and waited..
and waited. Then I realised, I (emphasis on I, please) had to go look for me. The search party was probably running with the pack too.
I grabbed a blanket. Dimmed the lights. Sipped my green tea. And switched on Netflix. As I raced through the trailers, I came across ‘One Strange Rock’. I started watching it and didn’t take very long (10-min into the first episode) before I found myself. As I continued watching the series, I found myself amongst the all encompassing star dust, the invisible sun rays, the deadly lavas, the dark caves, the unicellular microbes, the giant blue whale. I found myself everywhere, from our planet’s romantic moon to Saturn’s icy moons. I was everywhere. But everyone was everywhere. I was insignificant. I am insignificant. My insignificance has significance on how THE life cycle goes on. Thinking about where I, my species, and living things came from filled my heart until I could breathe with more depth. Whether I stress out towards the end of year, or beginning, the world around me sails on. It humbled me. This stuff wasn’t new to me, I studied it eons ago. I just needed to know it again so I could ground myself. And find myself again.
Which I did. I am but a mere human and as this year hurries to an end, I do get tangled in others’ worries. Ongoing Netflix subscription helps me find some part of myself again. It is liberating. If you haven’t watched ‘One Strange Rock’, watch it. If you have already watched it, watch it again. And if have watched it twice, then you’re probably watching it again anyways. Meet me for tea, please.
My point is (to myself really): The world around me is strange yet so familiar. It is brimming with energy, and life. Sometimes it overwhelms me to tears. Other times, I bask in its glory. My insignificance is significant to the life around me. And so is yours. There is never really an end. BUT we should still look forward to our end of year celebrations and holidays. Happy Holidays, fellow humans!
To live or to exist 